Как мне тяжело. Я готова рыдать. я готова умирать. разрываться на тысячу кусков. только потому что я не вижу его.
Я пыталась анализировать - результат практически нуливой. Я пыталась забыть. Я пыталась очернить его, по принципу "если вы на женщин очень падки, в женщинах ищите недостатки". Это никчему не приводит. Я пыталась просить поддержку у Бога, но моя душа завопила "нет, нет, оставь его мне!". Боже, что твориться то? И главное я мозгом понимаю, что все это бесперспективно и ненужно. Но то как он ведет себя со ной, заставляет меня волочиться за ним. Он мной реально манипулирует. Я и нехочу так продолжать больше, и отказаться не могу от этого. Я ищу в Жене что-то такое, что мне даст приют. Но он только устраивает истерики. И это только больше отдаляет меня от него. Мне хочеться плакать от этого. Постоянно. Я хочу быть с Женей. Он родной, он спокойный, он хороший и любимый. А еще он любящий и надежный. но то что он вытворяет - это просто кошмар. у него реально испортился характер за последнее время. за последние года 2. как жить стали. Он меня своей ревностью, своим пренебрежением к некоторым моментам (мой день рождение например), своими словами сам подталкнул меня. Мне раньше даже в голову не приходила что при парне можно закрутить шашни на стороне. Я хотела "помотросить и бросить". И вдруг увязла с головой. И вдруг при реальной оценке всех недостатков этого человека подумала о том что хотела бы родить от него детей. Я бы хотела ходить беременной его ребенком. я бы хотела держать малыша на руках и сидеть рядом с ним. Я бы хотела в радость заниматься воспитанием. А от Жени я получаю только давление и негатив. какую-то вечную депрессию. А когда я пытаюсь что то сделать, видно делаю все не так. и получаю только раздражение и агрессию. Я устала, я хочу что бы было все по другому. Я просто кинулась к этому мужчине за теми важными для мужа чертами, которых нет у Жени. Спокойствие, самообладание. у Жени все это тоже есть. но не в такой мере. Ему не хватает так же уверенности в себе, чувства собственного достоинства. Эта ревность дурацкая... Он меня безумно ревновал года 2 прежде чем я очаровалась другим человеком.

читать дальше
Sevgili:
merhaba
deniz:
bitanem
deniz:
lm here
Sevgili:
i slept
Sevgili:
and i think... O my God!!! Ada waiting for me!!!
deniz:
my love
Sevgili:
i asked him!!! and slipping!
deniz:
lm waiting
Sevgili:
thank you my love
deniz:
my love evrytime
deniz:
forever
Sevgili:
Ada, i want tea. i ll take a cap of tea and ccome back. 1 min ok?
Sevgili:
and you? hochesh cay?
deniz:
me too love
deniz:
5
deniz:
minutes
Sevgili:
my mum all time say me: hochesh cay? hochesh coffe? like you asked us. she like it
Sevgili:
i drinking tea with lokum and cup from marmaris
deniz:
hoçiş çay
Sevgili:
da hochu
Sevgili:
spasibo
deniz:
ya haçum
deniz:
ya haçum
Sevgili:
ya hochu
Sevgili:
without "m" at the end
Sevgili:
you said like turkish : isteyorUM
Sevgili:
hochUM
Sevgili:
ya hochU
deniz:
hochu
Sevgili:
ye!
deniz:
ya
deniz:
da
deniz:
you teach me russian
deniz:
wawwwww
Sevgili:
no problem of corse
Sevgili:
what?
deniz:
l like it
Sevgili:
wat do you like?
deniz:
you teach me
Sevgili:
hahahahaha
Sevgili:
yes
Sevgili:
i can to teach you no problem
Sevgili:
you teach me - i teach you
deniz:
tamam
Sevgili:
a few days ago in univer
deniz:
evet
Sevgili:
in a psyhology lesson
Sevgili:
was interesting situation
Sevgili:
techer askid 5 persons to play
deniz:
tell me
Sevgili:
5 students
Sevgili:
4 girs and one boy
Sevgili:
girls
Sevgili:
we must to image that we are teachers
Sevgili:
we had just 5 min for to be ready
Sevgili:
out door
Sevgili:
understend me?
Sevgili:
we are must go to class room
deniz:
yeeeee
Sevgili:
and offer
Sevgili:
3 girls cant to do it
Sevgili:
they are shy
Sevgili:
and all people get a marks for presentation
deniz:
how about you
Sevgili:
i had a 1 place
Sevgili:
hahahaha
Sevgili:
i best teacher in my group
deniz:
l know
Sevgili:
and our teacher told about our mistaks
Sevgili:
of course i had mistakes too
Sevgili:
but just 1
Sevgili:
i was dominate and hard
Sevgili:
and cruel
deniz:
my cruel love
Sevgili:
and after my presintation teacher told me
Sevgili:
im - sadist
Sevgili:
i said no no non non
Sevgili:
no!!!
Sevgili:
im good!!!
deniz:
yes yes
Sevgili:
im wite and soft
deniz:
ha ha ha
Sevgili:
but teacher said: no
deniz:
ha ha ha
Sevgili:
you are want to be wite and soft. but you are hard and cruel
Sevgili:
i said my mum
deniz:
my cruel love
Sevgili:
mum it is bad teacher said me im sadist
deniz:
ha ha ha
Sevgili:
Ada im good!!!!
deniz:
ha ha ha
deniz:
ha ha
Sevgili:
what?
deniz:
you re good
deniz:
so good
deniz:
my love
Sevgili:
what?!
deniz:
not cruel
deniz:
ha ha
Sevgili:
hahahaha
Sevgili:
and my mum said: os course you are cruel, i knew about it
deniz:
ha ha
Sevgili:
and now i live with idea that i bad
deniz:
noooooo
deniz:
l love my cruel love
deniz:
pardon
deniz:
ha ha ha
Sevgili:
hahahaha
Sevgili:
Ada
deniz:
yes bitanem
Sevgili:
why you like laughing at me?
deniz:
no lm smiling just
Sevgili:
hahahaha
deniz:
look you see you re cruel
Sevgili:
hahaha
Sevgili:
look
Sevgili:
it was test for students
Sevgili:
for leaders
Sevgili:
we doesnt know
deniz:
dont
Sevgili:
and teacher said i can fight
Sevgili:
we dont know
deniz:
l know
Sevgili:
can you image?
deniz:
you fought with me
Sevgili:
what do you know?
deniz:
on the boat too
Sevgili:
it was just play
deniz:
l remember
Sevgili:
but it can be true
Sevgili:
reality
Sevgili:
can you image?
Sevgili:
i cant
deniz:
noooo
Sevgili:
i cant to image that i can to fight somebody
deniz:
with me
deniz:
nooooooooooooooooo
deniz:
haaaaaaaaaaa
deniz:
haaaaaaaaaaaaa
deniz:
fight with me my love
Sevgili:
hahahaha
Sevgili:
really after it i remembered about our fights with Nagi
Sevgili:
hahahaha
deniz:
and you fought with undergraund person
Sevgili:
hahahaaaaa
Sevgili:
yes
deniz:
who is very dangerous
deniz:
ha ha ha
Sevgili:
yes
Sevgili:
horror
Sevgili:
i like to study
Sevgili:
so interesting!
Sevgili:
so many interesting subjects
Sevgili:
no i looking for a second education for me
Sevgili:
i think about culture of east
deniz:
really
Sevgili:
yes
deniz:
interesting
deniz:
subject
Sevgili:
if they have evening lessons
Sevgili:
yeee
Sevgili:
it is first university in St - Petersburg
Sevgili:
main univer
deniz:
ohhh very good
Sevgili:
and second in the rassia after moskov univer
Sevgili:
if they had evening education - i ll be study at this place
Sevgili:
they learning some languages
Sevgili:
arabian for kuran
deniz:
wooowww
deniz:
its good
Sevgili:
turkish for literature
Sevgili:
for poems
deniz:
l can help you about it
Sevgili:
really?
Sevgili:
cool!!!
deniz:
about arabic language
deniz:
and turkish
Sevgili:
wow
deniz:
l have a
deniz:
lot
deniz:
of
deniz:
metarials
Sevgili:
i wanted to study at this place before Turkiye
Sevgili:
really?
Sevgili:
wow
Sevgili:
ok
Sevgili:
ill sturt to study at the next year
Sevgili:
all my frands asked me: it is because you have a turkish boyfriend?
deniz:
ha ha ha
deniz:
come on
deniz:
you like history
Sevgili:
yeeees
deniz:
me too
Sevgili:
i wanted before
Sevgili:
but i cant. i must to have a job for 2 univer
Sevgili:
and i working in good company now and i can to pay for this univer
Sevgili:

deniz:
lm really so happy
Sevgili:

Sevgili:
why?
deniz:
about you
deniz:
cause you re happy
deniz:
its enouh for me to see you happy
Sevgili:
thank you
deniz:

Sevgili:

Sevgili:
thank you for your love
Sevgili:
i ll learn history cultural and litirature of egypt impaer
Sevgili:
impire
deniz:
thank you for loving me bon jovi
Sevgili:
yes
deniz:
interesting
Sevgili:
can you listen music?
deniz:
subject
Sevgili:
yes they had thera many interesting subjects
Собеседник [email protected] отправил:


Sevgili:
it is very popular song in russia
Sevgili:
may be 2-3 years
Sevgili:

deniz:
raelly
Sevgili:
yes
deniz:
its turkish
Sevgili:
in every club
Sevgili:
bars
Sevgili:
no
Sevgili:
rus
deniz:
kara gözler
Sevgili:
but specially for girls from turkey
Sevgili:
i took this name
Sevgili:

deniz:

Sevgili:
song - chorniye glaza - black eyes
Sevgili:
it is about love
deniz:
hımmm
Sevgili:
its somg hadnt meaning...
Sevgili:
but all meaning i cant live without your black eyes, i died without you eyes
Sevgili:
and i know you love me and wait me
Sevgili:
hahahahaha
deniz:
bitanem
Sevgili:
yes
deniz:
wait you
Sevgili:
askim
Sevgili:
i know
deniz:
l believe that we ll see each other again in winter
Sevgili:
i hope
deniz:

Sevgili:
but i so busy
Sevgili:
i have a holydays 1.01.09 till 7.01.09
Sevgili:
but
deniz:
woooowwww
Sevgili:
i have very difficult exems 09.01.09 till - 31.01.09
deniz:
one week
Sevgili:
and i must be ready for exems
deniz:
take your books
Sevgili:
Ada
deniz:
here
deniz:
you can study
Sevgili:
you know it too
deniz:
here
Sevgili:
i cant to stady near with you
deniz:
nooo you can reallyh
Sevgili:
but i ll must be ready
Sevgili:
Ada
Sevgili:
it is very importent for me
Sevgili:
i must to be ready
Sevgili:
i ll must to have 5 balls
deniz:
l can understand you but please dont
deniz:
decide know
deniz:
just thinkn about
deniz:
it
deniz:
you ve enough time to think
Sevgili:
all subjects - 5 balls
Sevgili:
yes
Sevgili:
i hope
deniz:
if you decide to come dont worry about to study
Sevgili:
i want very much
deniz:
you can
Sevgili:
look
Sevgili:
i study all 5 years on a hight marks
Sevgili:
it was very difficult
Sevgili:
at this summer
Sevgili:
when i broken leg
Sevgili:
i went to univer too
Sevgili:
becouse it was time for exems
deniz:
l see
Sevgili:
befor each examination my mum to help me
Sevgili:
i could to stay in home
Sevgili:
but in this situation
Sevgili:
just 3 or 4 bals
Sevgili:
it isnt good marks
Sevgili:
and after it i ll havnt a "red diploma"
Sevgili:
it is best
deniz:
l see

Передача файла "aydomir_mugu_-_kara gozler.mp3" завершена.

Sevgili:
if i have red diploma i have good job
deniz:
l believe you ll vave it
Sevgili:
it is importent for me
deniz:
of course you must study
Sevgili:
i m careerist
deniz:
and l know you ll do all your best
Sevgili:
if i ll see that i can to fly - i ll fly
Sevgili:

deniz:

Sevgili:
i need you very much
deniz:

Sevgili:
i need your voice
Sevgili:
your face
Sevgili:
your hands
Sevgili:
your love
Sevgili:
and i want to bring a holy red wine for you
Sevgili:

Sevgili:
again
deniz:
all of them just belong to you
deniz:
only you
deniz:
bitanem
Sevgili:
yes askim
Sevgili:
i know
Sevgili:
thank you for this present
Sevgili:

Sevgili:
it is most expensive present for me
Sevgili:

Sevgili:
you cant image how i live without you
Sevgili:
i fill so bad
Sevgili:
feel
deniz:
me too bitanem
Sevgili:

Sevgili:
sme times i sittink near computer till the 2 o/clock
deniz:

Sevgili:
sitting and waiting for you just for one vord @merhaba@
Sevgili:

Пользователь deniz отправляет мультик:

Воспроизвести мультик "Звезды"
Sevgili:
i sleep near with telefon becouse you know my number now
Sevgili:
at my monitor table - our foto
Sevgili:
and at the work too
Пользователь [email protected] отправляет мультик:

Воспроизвести мультик "Любовное письмо"
deniz:
love my love please dont forget wheter l call you or not and on the net my heart and my mind just with you everytime
Sevgili:
i hope so
deniz:
everytime
Sevgili:
thank you
Sevgili:
becouse if i think that you forget about me
Sevgili:
i angry
Sevgili:

deniz:
never
deniz:
never
deniz:
l cant
deniz:
cause my heart and my mind dont let me
Sevgili:
if i think it i angry very much
Sevgili:
and you know now
Sevgili:
i cruel
Sevgili:
i can to kill him
Sevgili:
somebody
deniz:

Sevgili:
or you
Sevgili:

deniz:

Sevgili:
be carefull
Sevgili:

Sevgili:

deniz:
ha ha ha
deniz:
its really good
Sevgili:
what?
Sevgili:
icon?
deniz:
yes
deniz:

Sevgili:

Sevgili:
i am
Sevgili:

Sevgili:
how your work
Sevgili:
season is finished?
Sevgili:
is season finished
deniz:
its okey not so bad
deniz:
in these days
deniz:
we re thinking tu buy a new boat
deniz:
with nacii
deniz:
voden
deniz:
one
Sevgili:
yes and what name of new boat?
Sevgili:
hotel - Ada
deniz:
we didnt decide about it
Sevgili:
i think yacht can had name - deniz
Sevgili:
hahahaha
Sevgili:
or yunus
Sevgili:
hahaha
Sevgili:
sorry
Sevgili:

deniz:

Sevgili:

deniz:

deniz:
we ll buy it in bozburun
deniz:
in marmaris
deniz:
not far
Sevgili:
sorry, what id bozburun?
Sevgili:
place?
deniz:
name of the area
deniz:
for the boats
Sevgili:
aaaa
deniz:
a lot of boats
deniz:
especially
deniz:
wooden
Sevgili:
cool
Sevgili:
i want to see it
deniz:

Sevgili:

deniz:
it will be
deniz:
20 or 23
deniz:
meters
deniz:
about
Sevgili:
or sea wolf...
Sevgili:
name of the yacht
Sevgili:
ooo
Sevgili:
so big!
deniz:
we can decide together
Sevgili:
hahahaha
Sevgili:
no no
deniz:

Sevgili:
you can get one of your nicks
Sevgili:

deniz:
good idea
Sevgili:
of course
Sevgili:
i say just good idea
Sevgili:

deniz:
very good idea
deniz:

Sevgili:
i think at the next summer take just tickets in turkish air company
deniz:
of course
deniz:
do that please
Sevgili:
cause price to the hotels is rose
deniz:
more safety than
deniz:
your companies l think
Sevgili:
yes
Sevgili:
every year 2-3 plans is full down
Sevgili:

Sevgili:
cause old
deniz:
love dont worry about hotel please l ll reserve for us
Sevgili:
Ada
deniz:
and we can stay together
Sevgili:
My mum want to live in bodrum
Sevgili:
i want to live in marmaris
Sevgili:

deniz:

deniz:
really
Sevgili:
yes
Sevgili:
we will be in one plan but in different citys
deniz:
its so nice to hear it forme
Sevgili:
hahahaha
Sevgili:
why?
deniz:
l mean you want to live in marmaris
deniz:

deniz:
wooowwwwwwwwwwwwww
Sevgili:

deniz:
l feel good so good
deniz:
so goood
Sevgili:

Sevgili:

deniz:
cause l gatta you
deniz:
dum dum duddum
Sevgili:

deniz:

deniz:

Sevgili:
hat is was?
Sevgili:
song?
Sevgili:

deniz:
l feel good
deniz:

Sevgili:

deniz:
nice song
Sevgili:
i happy, when you are good
Sevgili:
what song?
Sevgili:
my song?
deniz:
our
Sevgili:
about black eyes
deniz:
its good
deniz:
too
deniz:
really
Sevgili:
hahahaha
deniz:

Sevgili:
Ada wich song is good?
Sevgili:

Sevgili:
what song is our?
Sevgili:
i like bu askam
deniz:
bu akşam
deniz:
ha ha ha
Sevgili:
hahaha
Sevgili:
yes
Sevgili:
aksam
Sevgili:
i wrot like ask
Sevgili:
hahahaha
Sevgili:

deniz:
like my russian
Sevgili:
nooo
Sevgili:
your rusce better
Sevgili:
daha iyi
deniz:
really
deniz:
thanks
deniz:
teşekkür
deniz:

Sevgili:
rica ederim
Sevgili:

deniz:

Sevgili:
Ada
Sevgili:
can i send to you second song
deniz:
lütfen
Собеседник [email protected] отправил:


Sevgili:
when i listen it i think about us
Sevgili:
cause text very good
deniz:

deniz:
bitanem
deniz:
herşeyim benim
deniz:
you re my everythink
Sevgili:
it is song about
Sevgili:
one man say his girlfriend
Sevgili:
dont worry that we are unlike
Sevgili:
i couldnt pass, though not my you looked for in this city of evening lights
Sevgili:
but after our meeting
Sevgili:
we set together and wached at the night sky
Sevgili:
and we couldnt to say about our love
Sevgili:

deniz:
love
deniz:
its really very romantic
Sevgili:
hahahaha
deniz:
emotional
Sevgili:
are you romantic person?
Sevgili:

deniz:
really
deniz:

deniz:
saol
deniz:
bitanem
deniz:
cause of you
deniz:
cause of your love
Sevgili:
hahahaha
Sevgili:
i cant bilive it!
Sevgili:
you are man
Sevgili:
men cant to be romantic
Sevgili:
hahahaha
deniz:

Sevgili:
hahahaha
Sevgili:
this is words of the song:
deniz:

Sevgili:
say me if you firmly choose me
Sevgili:
just say me and in the middle of cold day i ll come to you
deniz:

deniz:

Sevgili:
just tell me and you can trust me
Sevgili:
hahahaha
Sevgili:
like about you
Sevgili:
hahahaha
deniz:

Sevgili:
it is old song
Sevgili:
now we havnt song like this
Sevgili:
may be 10 years
deniz:

Sevgili:
i listen now
Sevgili:
good song
deniz:
evet
deniz:
its really
deniz:
good
deniz:
song
deniz:
words are
deniz:
so good
deniz:
feelings
Sevgili:
yes
Sevgili:
" when i met you, i just wached in your eyes, but you was shy and cover your eyes under eyelashes?
Sevgili:
hahahaha
Sevgili:
about me
deniz:

Sevgili:
when i mwt you i was shy too
Sevgili:
hahahaha
Sevgili:
realy song about us
deniz:
ye sl remember
deniz:

Sevgili:
no i think - no
Sevgili:
you cant remember it
deniz:
why
Sevgili:

Sevgili:
i think so
Sevgili:
cause you cant
Sevgili:

deniz:
why
Sevgili:
i dont know
Sevgili:
you are not romantic
deniz:
no you re wrong
deniz:
l remember every moment
Sevgili:
and you cant
Sevgili:
no
Sevgili:
i think
Sevgili:

deniz:
love how can l forget the time
deniz:
that we re together
deniz:
its really impossible
Sevgili:
i think it was not importent for you
deniz:
so important
Sevgili:
i was just customer
deniz:
nooooo
Sevgili:
like each other
deniz:
you werent A COSTEMER
deniz:
so l sat with you on the boat
deniz:
all night
deniz:
just to talk with you just to löook at you
Sevgili:
"i just look at you, and stars told us, what we couldnt to tell"
Sevgili:
hahahaha
Sevgili:
song
Sevgili:
hahahaha
Sevgili:

deniz:

Sevgili:
what?
deniz:

Sevgili:
dont be angry
Sevgili:
i just joking
deniz:

Sevgili:

deniz:
you re playing
deniz:

Sevgili:
yes

Передача файла "Разведи огонь.mp3" завершена.

Sevgili:
but really it is song about you
Sevgili:
hahahaha
deniz:

Sevgili:

Sevgili:

Sevgili:
you are so funny
Sevgili:
i love you cause you re so funny
Sevgili:

deniz:
bitanem
deniz:
time to sleep
Sevgili:
evet askim
Sevgili:
ok
deniz:
come on
Sevgili:
tamam
deniz:

Sevgili:
iyiy ruyalar
Sevgili:
iyi
deniz:
sanada
Sevgili:
hahahaha
deniz:
bitanem
deniz:
tatlı rüyalar
Пользователь deniz отправляет мультик:

Воспроизвести мультик "Сердце"
Sevgili:
take care
Sevgili:
i worry about you
Sevgili:
and think about
Sevgili:
you
Sevgili:
at the day and at the night
Sevgili:

Sevgili:

deniz:
bye
deniz:
bitanem
deniz:
paka
Sevgili:

Sevgili:
hahaha
deniz:

deniz:
poka
deniz:

Sevgili:
your russian better day by day
deniz:
saol
deniz:
l sleep with you
Sevgili:
me to every night
Sevgili:
i sleep with dreams about you
Пользователь deniz отправляет мультик:

Воспроизвести мультик "НЛО"
Sevgili:
i see you 2 a week
Sevgili:
hahahaha
deniz:

Sevgili:
ok good night
deniz:
byeeee
Sevgili:
i have a weekend you havnt. byeeeeeee
deniz:

Вот. сказал мне 20 мин назад. время спать. попрощался. а теперь не уходит. что делает? с кем то болтает пол четвертого (у них пол третьего) утра? или просто смотрит почту? или пишет на форуме? почему не уходит?
Я вся зареваная сижу и опухшая. устала от себ
я. дура какая-то.